How to Set Boundaries at Work as a New Parent

Don’t be fooled: “boundaries” is way more than a slightly overused pop-psych term sprinkled throughout your social feeds. As a new mom or dad, you’re now juggling multiple responsibilities at home and at work—all while trying your best to adjust to your new chaotic normal. Setting clear boundaries at work early is crucial for maintaining a manageable—and even healthy—work-life balance. 

Boundaries are an invisible line that defines what behaviors are acceptable to you. Establishing boundaries at home and at work helps to create clear guidelines around how you wish to be treated. Boundaries also help curtail burnout, reduce stress, promote overall emotional wellbeing, allow you to be present with family, and boost productivity.

As you’re gearing up to return to work after your parental leave, use these tips to help you establish effective boundaries—and navigate the tricky and emotional transition from dutiful employee to dutiful working parent with several more plates in the air.  

Communicate clearly with your employer.

Open and clear communication is key when returning to work after parental leave. While it’s always best to establish boundaries before you leave for your parental leave, the most important thing is to have the conversation! So, no matter where you are on your working parent journey, schedule a meeting with your supervisor to discuss:

• How you will transition back into work
• Any long-term schedule adjustments, including any flexibility or remote work needs
• Expectations for availability outside of work/childcare hours
• Any changes to your workload or responsibilities
• Accommodations needed to pump at work

Be honest about your needs as a new parent while letting your employer know that you are committed to making it work. Most employers will appreciate your transparency and your forward-thinking to find solutions. And don’t think of this as a one-time chat! Consider scheduling regular check-ins so you can see if your approach is still working for everyone. Have an open mind and make adjustments along the way.

Set expectations with colleagues.

Changes in your workday don’t just impact you and your supervisor, they impact your team members and colleagues, as well. Beyond informing your co-workers about your revised schedule and changes in your availability, work with them to establish your team’s new normal. To do that, meet with your direct reports and other colleagues impacted by your new boundaries and…

• Consider checking in an hour before you need to sign off to gauge pressing needs or requests.
• Make sure your team is fully aware when you aren’t available online.
• Give folks a heads up and/or block off your calendar when you’re not available for meetings to be scheduled.
• Work with your colleagues to come up with solutions to inevitable hiccups, like midday pediatrician appointments or after-hours work events.

Establish a consistent work schedule.

• Creating a consistent work schedule helps you, your colleagues, and your supervisor know when exactly you are available. To do that…Set a fixed start and end times for your workday.
  
• Block out time on your calendar for pumping, if needed. (Mark this time as “busy” on your shared work calendar.)
• Schedule regular breaks to check in with your childcare provider, if needed.
• Use status updates on messaging apps to indicate when you’re available, in meetings, or offline.
• To make the most of your working hours, consider dividing your workday into focused blocks for specific tasks (like checking emails) or types of work (like your availability for calls).
• Consider using productivity apps to track your time and help you maintain focus.
  

Set after-hours expectations.

What good is leaving work at 4:30pm if before you even sit down to dinner you have 10 Slacks awaiting a response? To avoid this workday bleed, establish guidelines for how and when you’ll respond to work communications outside of your regular hours:

• Be upfront with your team about when you’ll be offline.
• Explain that you will not respond to non-urgent messages outside of these hours.
• Reassure your co-workers that you’ll address any pending matters during your next working day.
• Let your colleagues know how you prefer to be contacted for urgent matters—and establish what “urgent” means.
• Establish an “emergency contact” in your department for pressing matters that need attention, but not necessarily your attention.
• Set up an autoreply for email and work-related app messages received after hours. Include your working hours and when folks can expect a response. (Example: “Thank you for your message. I’m currently offline and will respond between 8am and 4pm, Monday to Friday. If this is urgent, please contact [emergency contact] at [phone number].”

But it’s up to you to maintain these boundaries! That means, turn off email and work-related app notifications on your phone outside of your working hours. And lead by example! That means stop sending non-urgent emails or messages to colleagues outside of their working hours. If you must send an off-hours message, clearly state that you do not expect an immediate response. (Make “Schedule Send” your new BFF!) 

Create boundaries at home.

For new parents who work from home full-time or part-time, make sure you set clear boundaries with your family: time boundaries, emotional boundaries, and even physical boundaries. This separation helps you focus during your work hours and then be able to fully engage with your family during off hours. Some tips for establishing at-home boundaries:

• Have a family meeting to explain your work schedule and needs.
• Create a shared family calendar, including your work schedule and deadlines.
• Set up a home office or designated work area that’s separate from high-traffic family areas, if possible. (Consider a room divider if needed.)
• Use visual cues, like a closed door, to signal to others when you’re working. In addition, consider hanging a “Do Not Disturb” sign or a color card system to easily communicate your availability (green for “available,” red for “in a meeting”).
• Establish “quiet hours” for calls and focused work time.
• Get into the work mindset by wearing “work clothes” during your on-hours and taking a short walk around the block to “commute” to and from the office. This can help mentally shift into professional mode and illustrate to family members that your workday is in effect.
• To help you stay focused on the job, consider using noise-canceling headphones or playing a white noise machine to mask background noises during calls

Final Thoughts on Setting Work Boundaries as a New Parent

Setting boundaries at work (and at home) as a new working parent is an ongoing process. Every stage of the game requires clear communication, consistency, self-advocacy—and pivots. Some days will not go as planned. Some rules will get broken—and that’s okay. There’s always tomorrow to recalibrate and reiterate your boundaries. 

More For Working Parents and Parents-to-Be:

• Your Back-From-Parental-Leave Communication Guide
• How to Get a Free SNOO at Work
• Create Your Perfect Parental Leave Plan
• Benefits That Go a Long Way to Support Working Parents
• How to Prioritize Your Sleep During Parental Leave—And Beyond!
• Returning to Work After Parental Leave? Here’s Your Game Plan

Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.