Angella Hernandez’s Two Babies Showed Her the Full Range of Breastfeeding Experiences
It’s true that every parent’s experience is unique—it’s also true that one parent’s experience with their first child is often completely different than their experience with the next!
It often helps to brace for the unexpected in parenting…and that means that your experience with your first child can be night-and-day from the next.
Angella Hernandez got a taste of this early on. The Los Angeles-based mom of two—who also runs Oaks and Lenox and serves as the Chief Operating Officer for GTG Entertainment Group LLC (which has produced Emmy- and Oscar-winning pieces)—says her two birth stories were “completely opposite” from one another.
Immanuel (now 5) made his debut on his due date after 41 long hours of labor that culminated in a c-section on his due date. “We were relieved and happy that he arrived safely and that neither of us experienced any complications,” Angella says.
Her second son, Isley (now 2), flipped this script! He rushed into the world at 37 weeks while Angella’s doctor was on vacation! “Because Immanuel arrived on his due date and we'd been busy parenting we hadn't packed my hospital bag, put together the SNOO, washed clothes, nor did we have a name picked out, so I was a little panicked and felt unprepared,” she recalls.
Fortunately, she had a backup doctor waiting in the wings. “We also had our team at Kindred Space LA Birthing Center and our NYC doula, Simmone Taitt of Poppyseed Health, on speed dial because we truly believe in having Black maternal health advocates,” Angella says. “Simmone was scheduled to fly in from NYC later that week and instead hopped on the next flight out to meet us at the hospital.”
That evening, after seven pushes, Isley arrived earthside!
And Angella’s two breastfeeding experiences with each of her sons turned out to be just as distinct as her two births! Here, in honor of Black Breastfeeding Week, she shares her story.
How would you describe your breastfeeding journey?
For Immanuel, my breastfeeding journey started out a bit challenging because I had a c-section, and while I had colostrum, I also had a very hungry baby. From the beginning the nurses told us we'd have to supplement with formula. I was ashamed and gutted because I assumed I would have an oversupply that the baby wouldn't be able to keep up with, and I dislike cow's milk. I attended the hospital's lactation session, and a lactation consultant visited my room to show me different breastfeeding positions and how the latch should look and feel. But honestly it was very difficult and didn't seem to be working those first couple of days.
For Isley, he was diagnosed with jaundice and the best way for us to get rid of it was to supplement his feedings with formula. By this point, I had zero shame around supplements, and I just wanted him to get better. Once the jaundice was gone, he never took another bottle again. I briefly pumped, maybe 3 to 4 weeks total, but he never drank the milk.
Before becoming a parent, did you plan on breastfeeding? What influenced that decision?
My mother breastfed me briefly but had engorgement issues that she shared with me. I didn't plan for similar complications and believed it would naturally work out for me. I grew up drinking soy milk, so I wanted to give my sons another alternative, in the event they didn't take to breastfeeding.
What kind of support did you have on your breastfeeding journey?
For Immanuel, Simmone informed me early on how important postpartum care would be such as a helper, doula and lactation consultant. She also vetted them. I knew my insurance covered lactation support, so I reached out to an IBCLC who made a same-day visit to our home. She weighed Immanuel prior to feeding and then 10-15 minutes after feeding to gauge whether he had a tongue-tie, was gaining weight, getting enough calories, etc. From there she prescribed breastfeeding on-demand, followed by a formula supplement and to increase the number of ounces because this would give my body a break.
Additionally, I was encouraged to eat oatmeal, drink lactation tea and chewables, use a breast massager and warmer, and to cluster pump. She also did a follow-up visit to our home two weeks later when I was still concerned, and she helped educate me on breastfed versus formula fed babies. Eventually I learned about Holle goat's milk (a German brand), and it resolved hunger and gas issues.
What challenges did you face while breastfeeding? How did you overcome them?
For Immanuel, I let breastfeeding consume my thinking and I worried mostly at night between and during feedings. I remained ashamed for a long time and didn't share with many people that we had to supplement. I joined a Facebook group for breastfeeding moms, and it was the most divisive platform. [After an offensive comment from a moderator], I removed myself from the group and went back to Google and texting other mothers during my anxious nights.
I eventually made peace with my journey around 3 to 4 months. I also attended two postpartum support group sessions at the Motherhood Center because I was experiencing anxiety around breastfeeding and pumping and leaving home without all of my "things" while also navigating public transportation and elevators with a baby. Those two sessions normalized what I was feeling, and I heard the stories from other mothers who were having negative thoughts, including self-harm, and it gave me perspective.
For Isley, I am blessed that I had zero issues around breastfeeding and our journey together is coming to an end this fall!
What’s your best piece of advice you have for Black parents-to-be hoping to breastfeed?
Hire the doula or midwife even if you want a hospital birth because whether natural, vaginal, or c-section, you need to have someone there to advocate on your behalf (e.g. pain, medication, food, etc) or even to just explain simple terms while you're laboring and taking in all this new information.
Take the birthing, first aid, breastfeeding and c-section classes. It's awkward but you'll meet people and possibly make lifelong friends on this journey. Hire the lactation consultant and call your doctor because no question is stupid.
And lastly, breastfeed if you desire and supplement if you must for as long as you and baby choose. Babies need to eat frequently and often for medical reasons (e.g. jaundice) so if you fear that you'll ruin the bonding, you won't. Because there is so much love and connection between you and baby, breastfeeding will not make or break your bond.
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