Breastfeeding Was a “Rollercoaster,” But It’s a Journey Heaven Schydlowsky Doesn’t Hesitate to Share

Image: Jillian Guyette and Storq

Long before Heaven Schydlowsky, a digital marketer at MERIT, gave birth to her baby girl, Soleil, she knew she wanted breastfeed. “When Soleil was born, meeting her solidified that want even more,” Heaven reflects. 

But what this new mom didn’t foresee were some of the challenges that came with being a breastfeeding parent. Here, in honor of Black Breastfeeding Week she shares with Happiest Baby the ups and downs of her journey, the support team that made her successes possible, and why the tough parts only made her more determined to share her experience.  

Before becoming a mom, what did you learn about the breastfeeding experience of other Black women, including the women in your family? 

Before becoming a mom, I learned that the women in my family always breastfed their babies. It seemed at the time that it was the only option (due financial, social, etc, factors.) and so therefore they did what they knew. But it wasn't until I was mother when the women in my family started sharing their experiences. 

How would you describe your breastfeeding journey? 

My breastfeeding journey has been a rollercoaster. As mentioned, I knew I wanted to nurse. It's what the women before me did and I was pretty committed to do the same. I did not know that these small bits of ups and down would be in store for us. There have been more peaks than anything: Soleil and I finally mastering our latch, feeling confident enough to breastfeed in public for the first time, creating a reserve of expressed milk in the freezer...this journey, though at times challenging, has been beautiful...and worth it.

What do you love about breastfeeding? 

I love the dynamic, ever-changing, personalized nutrients I can provide to my baby. And I love the deeply personal time together. 

What has been your biggest breastfeeding challenge—and how did you overcome it?

My biggest breastfeeding challenge was our initial latch. When we came home from the hospital, our latch was still not right. Breastfeeding was painful and I felt extremely discouraged to continue.

When that happened, my doula, Tia Kent-Dowling, told me to see a lactation consultant ASAP. I knew I wanted to breastfeed and knew that the only way to continue this was to get professional help. I was looking for a consultant that could meet me where I was and encourage me to continue (but at my pace).

What other support did you have?

I felt supported by Grace McNair, but I was also surrounded by own personal breastfeeding cheerleaders: my husband who was over my shoulder checking that the latch was correct. My doula was constantly checking in on me and visiting me. My mother and grandmother shared their stories and encouraged me to keep going. It took some time to make it right, but when it did...it was beautiful. I couldn't have done it without my support system.

Can you share how your breastfeeding journey ended? 

I stopped nursing a little after the 10-month mark. There were multiple factors. My supply was naturally dropping after going back to work. Soleil started to prefer her bottle of expressed milk and lean more on solid foods. It felt as though she was becoming a bit more independent. And lastly, with 3 months of travel ahead of us, I knew that pumping would no longer be feasible. So, before we left on our trip, we weaned and Soleil began to solely drinking expressed milk and eating solids.

Travel seems to be a big part of your lives! How was it to breastfeed on-the-go?

We love to travel. And breastfeeding on-the-go did not come naturally to me. It felt awkward in the beginning. After attending some new-mom outings and seeing my fellow mamas nurse in public and fumble a bit (and keep at it), I knew I could do it too! My advice: keep practicing, bring the things/set the environment that make you and your baby comfortable (a cover for distractions or a quiet space etc.), and trust that you've got this!

You’ve posted breastfeeding and pumping photos on Instagram and you’ve been featured in nursing bra ads. Did you ever hesitate about sharing this part of your journey with the public?

I think this experience has been so humbling for me. I didn't realize how tough it would be. I feel proud to share this journey because I know there a lot of mamas out there that need to know they are not alone. It came as a surprise for me that the breastfeeding journey could be challenging, and I would have loved a little more realness on Instagram from other moms. So no, I did not hesitate to share this part of my journey with the public. In fact, I've been proud to see how far I came with breastfeeding and pumping.

What’s your best piece of advice for Black parents-to-be hoping to breastfeed? 

Prepare before baby gets here! Before baby has arrived, research lactation consultants, breastfeeding support groups, and birth and post-partum doulas that support the your breastfeeding goals in your area. Some of my favorite resources to the NY area, include Me Too Doula, Ora Feeding lactation consultants, Chocolate Milk Café for lactation support from Black mothers.

Why do you think Black Breastfeeding Week is important? 

This week highlights us Black mothers and our stories. Our stories, our journeys, our challenges...they all matter. There was a time when Black mothers did not have options or resources to breastfeed their babies. And today, oppression in many spaces and institutions still interfere with a Black mother being supported during her breastfeeding journey. This week is meant to support and uplift us. And so, I really believe a Black mother who breastfeeds is an act of resistance. An act that can elevate us and our stories.

Disclaimer: The information on our site is NOT medical advice for any specific person or condition. It is only meant as general information. If you have any medical questions and concerns about your child or yourself, please contact your health provider.